


Should Have Left You Earlier

by You_are_perfect



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Lies, M/M, Not Really Character Death, Shironeki - Freeform, don't mad at me for doing this please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-13 00:23:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3360938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/You_are_perfect/pseuds/You_are_perfect
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At least, Kaneki does not have to finish his job. 'He' did it by himself.<br/>Although, that was what hurt Kaneki most.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Should Have Left You Earlier

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! To be frank, I inspired to make this fic after reading 'Black Balloon' by Yamiga. Combined with my used-to-be obsession with Sherlock, this fanfic finally born. I really viewed Hide as Sherlock in one way, so why not end him like that?

In the middle of night like this, there was a half-ghoul. A half-ghoul who was standing on Tokyo Tower. He scanned around the city with his own sharp eyes. The scent of the crowd of human did not bothered him even the slightest. He even ignored the noise around him just so he could do the task that he got from his superior.

A task that made him in dilemma.

Kaneki took a deep breath to calm himself. He tried his best from letting panic attack happen to him. To think that Tatara chose him to do this task made him uncomfortable. He could not do this task, not even for million years! But if he disobey, someone would do this and it end the same way anyway.

Unconsciously, Kaneki cracked his knuckles a few times. Ugly imaginations started to fill in his own thought. He needed to ignore them but it was no use. The more he tried to stop thinking about it, the harder it got for him to avoid it. He cannot do this, not to the person he wanted to protect most.

Kaneki wished this was just a dream. A bad dream that he will soon forget. He prayed to God that none of this were real. Yet, God answered to none of his prayers at all.

The half-ghoul still remembered how Tatara told him about this task. Tatara was summoning him when Kaneki fill his thirst with his own coffee. When the half-ghoul went to meet him, his superior gave him a picture of a young man. He told some bits about the young man and ordered Kaneki to kill this young man.

_He knows too much and that is dangerous for Aogiri_ Tatara explained to him.

Kaneki could not do that, but he also could not say no to Tatara. Thus, he just accepted the task without any complaint at all. Now, he was in Tokyo and prepared himself to finish his mission.

_Why it must be you, Hide?..._ Kaneki sobbed.

***

Hide was staring to his own laptop. For how long, he did not know. He kept tapping his finger at the edge of the table, thinking whether he should do this plan or not. It was risky for all he know. Nonetheless, he believed this was the only way. Things might get more horrible if he chose to back away now.

He studied his own room for a few minutes. Every wall in his room covered with thousands of papers that he 'got' from CCG. Every parts of them contained some information of ghoul and report from their mission. His floor even scattered with stacks of paper and his own analysis that he made from them. Not far from his laptop there was a radio. Hide managed to eavesdrop someone's conversation with the help of his tracking devices. None of them noticed a young man who silently placed that stuff on them. It was easy for him.

He heard a lot of bad things from the radio, but today was the worst.

He stared to the mirror, watching his own reflection. He thought of how his life went until today. How did the past had created the person he is today. Flickers of memories shuffled in his train of thoughts. There were good times, bad times and even normal times.

Hide never thought of this, but now he realized how much he appreciate his life now. He did not regret any of it. He enjoyed it while it last.

And now the time has come.

The young man stood up from his chair and stepped toward to the window. He pushed the window frame and let his hand rested on the windowsill. Thousand of stars sparkled with their own brightness made the midnight sky seems radiant. The whole moon even added some beauty to this darkness.

Hide wanted to remember this night before he left.

Sighing, Hide left the window and stood next to his table. He grabbed his phone and shoved it into his pocket. Another phone was placed next to his laptop. Hide even took a paper and scribbled some words on it.

Thinking that everything was enough, Hide smiled to himself before he left the room. He started his journey to his next destination.

***

It was not that hard for Kaneki to find him. He was so sure that young man still live in the same place. And he was right.

However, something seems to be a little bit off.

Kaneki carefully entered into the room through the window. He saw a lot of papers and pictures dispersed around this place. The only light that appeared in this room was only from the laptop that still on.

Curiously, Kaneki tiptoed to the table and observed the laptop. There was nothing on except the Home screen page. He felt like it held nothing importance until he saw a phone with a note under it.

Kaneki lifted the note and red it. It said:

_Just in case if you are here, meet me at the hospital where you got your first surgery. Don't forget the phone too. I'll be waiting._

Kaneki felt lump in his own throat. He even turned white after reading this note. Somehow, he sensed that something bad was going on now and he did not know what was it. This made him more fear with the outcomes that will happen.

Following the instruction from the note, Kaneki fled to the place that turned him.

***

Kaneki was walking to the hospital. It was a good thing there was nobody nearby this hospital. The ground was practically empty anyway. Even is someone saw him, they might thought of him as normal bystander. He felt a little bit grateful for wearing normal attire, not his battle gear.

He was not far from the building when the phone in his pocket suddenly ringing. He picked it up and gazed to the phone nervously. The caller ID made his stomach sick.

Slowly, he slide the green button and stuttered "Hello?".

"Kaneki," the voice cried.

"Hide, are you okay?" Kaneki felt worry hearing Hide sounded like this.

"Turn around and walk back the way you came now," Hide ordered him.

"No, I'm coming in!"

"Just do as I ask! Please..." Hide frantically asked Kaneki to do what he said.

Kaneki felt a little bit bewildered. Hide never been like this. He never sound so broken and hurt. For him, Kaneki stepped back and looking around for Hide.

"Stop there!" Hide stopped Kaneki from walking "Look up, Kaneki. From there, you see me on the rooftop,"

Kaneki raised his head and closed his gape mouth with shock. He could see how close Hide was at the edge of the rooftop. Just another step and he would... _What are you doing, Hide?_

"I ... I ... I can’t come down, so we’ll ... we’ll just have to do it like this," Hide gulped. 

"Hide, talk to me! What's going on?!' the half-ghoul asked anxiously.

"An apology. I want to say I'm sorry," Hide felt a tear formed at his own eyelids now.

"Sorry?" Hide's best friend turned confused.

"For everything. For what you are going on through. I'm sorry for being one of the reason you are like this now," Hide explained.

"Hide, none of this your fault--"

"I shouldn't have talk to you at first place. I shouldn't agreed to move in to 20th ward. Had I know this would happen, I wouldn't approach you at first place when we were kids," Hide chuckled sadly.

"Okay, shut up Hide. Just shut up. The first time we met... the _first time we met_ was the most important memory. I was happy for you to be my friend. Hell, I cherished that memory for so long. You were the nicest person I've meet in my whole life," Kaneki admitted.

"Oh please, Kaneki. Nobody could be that nice,".

"You could,"

Hide laughed and gazed down at his friend, a tear dripping from his chin. Of course Kaneki would say that. Kaneki would not dare to say hurt things toward him. He just say it so Hide would not feel bad. No more, no less.

"Kaneki, I'm-- I'm---".

"No. All right, stop it now. Just stop this," Kaneki had his eyes closed and was shaking his head repeatedly. He started to walk towards the hospital entrance.

"No, stay _exactly_ where you are. Don’t move!" Hide stopped him urgently.

"Alright," The white-haired ghoul stopped, lifting his hand up towards Hide in capitulation. In return, Hide had his own hand stretched out towards his friend.

"Keep your eyes fixed on me," Hide's voice become more frantic "Please, will you do this for me?"

"Do what?" Kaneki's heart thumped rapidly.

"This phone call – it’s, er ... it’s my note. It’s what people do, don’t they – leave a note?".

Kaneki shook his head momentarily as he took his phone from his ear. The stress of what he was beginning to understand hit him now. Then he raised it again, his voice shaky;

"Leave a note when?"

"Goodbye Kaneki,"

Hide gazed down at his friend for several seconds. Then he lowered his arm and dropped the phone onto the ground, gazing ahead of himself. The bright-haired young man spreaded his arms to either side and fell forward, plummeting himself towards the ground. He just let the gravity for the rest of the work.

The half-ghoul stared in utter horror as he lowered the phone, screaming upwards for his best friend "HIDE!"

A couple of seconds later the body impacts the ground. Kaneki quickly went to the scene as his entire body focused on getting to Hide as soon as he can.

Hide disappeared from Kaneki's view at the end of his fall because a building blocked Kaneki’s view of him. Kaneki ran to the corner of the building, then slowed down and stopped in the middle of the road. He got his first glimpse of the dead figure lying on the wet pavement. The lower part of Hide's body obscured by a lorry parked at the roadside. Groaning, Kaneki struggled to stay focus while a few people begin to run towards the body on the pavement.

The lorry finally pulled away. A couple of medics from the hospital hurried out and tried to prevent the onlookers from getting too close to the scene. Grimacing with pain, Kaneki rolled onto his side and looked across to the pavement where Hide was lying on his side with a lot of blood under his head. Slowly, Kaneki hauled himself to his feet and stumbled towards Hide as some onlookers gathered, talking excitedly about what they saw. Kaneki forced himself onwards. He did not care if people started to notice him, all he want now was his friend only.

"Hide, please Hide..." Kaneki whispered, trying to reach his dead friend.

"No, he’s my friend. He’s my friend. Please..." the half-ghoul begged as some of the crowd try to hold him back but he pushes through them. He reached down to take hold of Hide’s wrist, searching for a pulse. A woman peeled his fingers off and she with another person pulled him away. As he reached towards his friend again, more medics arrived with a wheeled stretcher.

"Please, let me just..." Kaneki sniffled, but he felt like he lost his control of his legs as his knee started to give out. He slumped on the floor and supported by a couple of onlookers. Then, two people gently rolled Hide onto his back, revealing his blood stained face and wide staring eyes. Hide groans in utter despair.

"God, no..." The half-ghoul tried to stand up but he sank back again. As the onlookers supported him, four people lifted Hide’s body onto the stretcher before they rapidly wheeled it away into the hospital. Kaneki stared after it, his face blank and uncomprehending. He finally managed to get to his feet and shook off his helpers, staring blindly in the direction where his friend’s body went.

Is this the punishment that he received from God for ignoring his best friend?

A few moment later, those people finally left the hospital's ground. Only Kaneki stayed here, still paralyzed with what was going on. His body and mind finally lost its function. The dead of his best friend left a big impact to his mind.

Out of nowhere, a young teenage girl with hair that similar with Hide patted Kaneki's shoulder "This is not your fault, remember that,".

Kaneki turned his head to the girl, unable to comprehend with her words. She just smiled sadly before she left him behind.

Feeling that he could not do this anymore, Kaneki sprinted away from the hospital with tears falling from his eyes.

**

"Hello, Hide,".

Kaneki arrived to Hide's grave with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He did not came here on Hide's funeral, too dangerous for his own good. A few days after that, Kaneki gathered his courage and visited him there.

"Listen here, Hide," Kaneki cracked his voice "I know that-- that you don't believe me when I said you are the nicest person I've meet. I would agree that. You are so loud, so noisy and sometimes irritating me. But then, you are the kindest person I've known. There were even times I didn’t even think you were human because of that,".

The half ghoul shed his tears "Let me tell you this, Hide. You were the best man, and the most human ... human being that I’ve ever known. I'm so happy for meeting you and become your best friend. I really appreciated that, Hide. I wish I got the times to speak my gratitude for you,"

He blowed out a breath, whimpering slightly. Kaneki put down the bouquet onto the ground. Looking over his shoulder again, he walked over to the headstone and puts his fingertips onto the top of it.

"I owe you a lot, Hide. I don't know how to pay you back. I was so alone back then but you were there for me. You are a miracle to me. How can I pay your kindness, Hide?" Kaneki took a tearful breath.

"All I could do now is for wish to be happy and rest in peace on the other side, okay?". He turned and started to walk away. 

Yet, when he reached at the foot of the grave, he turned back again and begged "There's one more thing, Hide. One more miracle thing for me, Hide,"

Kaneki paused and cringed "Don't-- be-- dead". His voice broke and filled with tears as he gestured down to the grave.

"Would you do that just for me? Just-- stop this," Kaneki sighed and lowered his head and stood there, broken. Reflected on the smooth marble of the headstone, his figure appeared to have the name of his friend carved directly across his chest. He lowered his head further, covered his eyes with one hand and weeps. Finally he wiped his eyes, sniffed deeply and raised his head, coming to attention in front of his best friend. He nodded for a while before he turned his heel and finally left the graveyard.

***

Not far from Kaneki, a figure was spying quietly toward the ghoul. He was hiding behind an oak tree in order to prevent the half ghoul from seeing him. He had to hold himself from running away as he watched Kaneki left./p>

"Big brother, are you okay?" a young girl called him.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me," her brother patted her hair.

"Are you sure this is okay for you?" the younger sister asked, worried if he made a big mistake.

"I can't let him decide. I know him really well like I know my own palm. If I let him, horrible event may happen to him and other people that he care. This is for his best," her big brother clarified.

"But what about you? Is this the best for you?"

The big brother contemplated that question for a while, before he replied "I don't know. But this is better than letting him fretting over me. He had one less thing to worry about now,".

The younger sister sighed. Her brother is the smartest person she knew, but she wondered if this was the right decision for him.

"By the way, I haven't said thank you yet for helping me with my plan. If not because of you, I wouldn't able to fake my own death," the big brother said.

"It's not a big deal. Let just... go home now," the younger sister stepped forward.

The big brother grinned and caught up "Thank you, Yori-chan,"

**Author's Note:**

> I am in dilemma to make this fanfic with more chapter or now. I'm too lazy to do more (plus, my school and exam bothered me to no end). However, this have potential to develop it into something more. I might reconsider that thought. Tell me if you want me to do more (if you want too).  
> P/S: Please don't mad at me for using some scene from Sherlock into here. It just cannot be unseen.


End file.
